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 Post subject: Alternate Tin Soldier
PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 5:46 pm 
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We interrupt our regularly scheduled Obstinate Tin Soldier series to bring you this lite little bit of fun. This definately does NOT take place within the fanon of Obstinate Tin Soldier. It takes place in an alternate universe, one that's a little less serious and a little more naughty.

Alternate Universe Cylon Mobile Depot Ship #8
Sharon Valerii
35th Day Onboard

Sharon stood at attention in between Cyrus and Amy. Her clothing, like those of every other Cylon in the formation was scrupulously clean and perfectly straight. All the ship's department managers and their upper level staff were there lined up, all carefully groomed and wearing their best outfits, beside the lower main airlock waiting for the ship's mysterious special guest to arrive. "Whoever he was," Sharon mused, "he must be very important." All her department's work had been setback at least three work-shifts while she scrambled to comply with Commander Theron's orders that every room, terminal, corner, and hallway in the ship be cleaned and in perfect condition in anticipation of today's inspection tour. Theron had also insisted that their appearance must be completely professional and advised, strangely, that the women should make an extra effort to 'look pretty.'

The soft clanking of a docking ship was suddenly audible from the other side of the airlock, followed by the solid thump of its outer doors opening. Commander Theron shifted slightly as he stood by the inner doors, his nervousness obvious to Sharon even from across the room. The inner airlock doors thumped open, and after a moment a well-dressed number six model Cylon walked into the room. She was wearing a dark colored woman's business suit with a mid-length skirt so tight and heels so high it seemed unbelievable she could walk, but she strolled smoothly into the room and turned back to face the man who had followed her through the airlock. "Dr. Vice-President Baltar," she said, "this is the ship's commander Theron... Theron, this is Vice-President Baltar."

"Call me 'Doctor'," he said to Theron.

"It's an honor to have you aboard, Doctor Baltar," Theron replied, "Please allow me to introduce you to my senior staff."

Sharon felt a sick feeling of dread in her stomach as Gaius Baltar began glad-handing his way down the line of Cylons with Commander Theron attentively at his elbow and his lovely assistant two paces behind him. Baltar was ignoring Theron's attempts to suck up to him, curtly greeting the male and metallic Cylons, and letting his eyes linger on select members of the ship's female officers.

Sharon allowed a slight smile to creep onto her face as Baltar brushed off Selene's obsequious compliments to leave her fuming in quiet jealousy while he lavished attention on her shapely blond Internal Communications chief instead. "You look just like my favorite newscaster," Baltar was saying to her. Sharon checked her wireless connection to discover that news of their mystery visitor's identity had already made it onto the local knowledgebase and spread to every corner of the ship.

"Last but not least is our Military Intelligence department," Theron said as he lead Dr. Baltar toward where Sharon was standing. "I believe you already know our Intel department manager, Sharon Valerii.

"Boomer!" Baltar exclaimed as he grinned and shook her hand enthusiastically. "I'm glad to see you're looking well, and with a well deserved promotion too. Everyone on Galactica... well, the entire fleet really," he said as if he were confiding some secret to her, "misses you very much."

"I miss them just as much as I'm sure they miss me," Sharon stated coldly. "Please give them all my best," she added knowing that he would not. Sharon finally had to pull her hand away from Gaius's when it became obvious that he wasn't going to let go on his own.

"And who is this lovely young lady?" the Vice President asked her as he stared at the identically dressed and, with the exception of a light scar on her cheek, identical looking twin standing next to Sharon.

"This is Amy; she's my chief of Fleet Intelligence." Sharon answered as he and Amy smiled at each other.

"I will try to wind up this tour early," Baltar said as he looked back and forth between Sharon and Amy with a gleam in his eye. "Perhaps we could get together for an hour or so before I have to leave and catch up on old times."

"Perhaps," Sharon answered.

"Bring your sister Amy along, too," Baltar added over his shoulder as he continued down the line, "I'd very much like to get to know her better."

"I think he wants to go out with us!" Amy transmitted enthusiastically to Sharon.

"No," Sharon corrected her over their wireless connection, "he just wants to frack us senseless."

"I think I'd like to see the gymnasiums first," Sharon overheard Baltar say as Theron lead him out the door for his tour of the ship.

"I'll bet you would, perv." Sharon thought to herself. After Baltar, his assistant, and Theron left, the Cylon's formation broke up with some Cylons heading back to their departments to make sure things were still in order for the inspection and others clustering together to exchange their impressions of the human celebrity.

"You never told me you knew Gaius Baltar," Amy said as she and Sharon headed out a side door and into the hallway. "What is he like in private?" she asked.

"Uh... He's one of a kind," Sharon answered diplomatically.

"I'll bet." Amy responded. As they approached an intersection in the hall she grabbing Sharon's jacket lightly, leaned close, and asked with quiet excitement, "Do you really think he'd want to frack us?"

Sharon stopped and pulled back a bit from her erratically behaving subordinate, "Yeah, I'm sure he would, but it doesn't matter because the feeling isn't mutual."

"Oh, but he's so dreamy," Amy said with her expression lit up like a schoolgirl with a crush.

Sharon pinched the bridge of her nose, lowered her head, and shook it in disbelief at Amy's naiveté. "What was it," she wondered to herself, "with some Cylons and Gaius Baltar? It's not like he's Lee Adama, or Helo, or... Chief Tyrol." Her heart raced in her chest and her head felt light at that last thought. Her Chief would never be brought onboard as a distinguished guest, Sharon knew, he would only arrive as a defeated and disgraced captive of war... and as head of Intelligence it would be her responsibility to interrogate him for his secrets...

Sharon forced herself back to her senses and grabbed Amy by both shoulders. "Listen carefully to me," she said with a serious, authoritative demeanor, "you need to stay away from Gaius Baltar. I'm telling you this as a friend. He is a lying weasel with a giant ego, and if even a fraction of the rumors flying around the knowledgebase are true then he's practically a one-man Cylon breeding program."

"If you feel that way, then fine," Amy stated flatly, "that leaves more of him for me. My duty shift ended 17 seconds ago, so you can't tell me what to do." Amy reached behind her head to loosen her ponytail and said with feigned innocence, "I think now would be a good time to go work out in the gymnasium." As Amy walked around the right corner of the nearby intersection, Sharon heard her rehearsing the words, "By Your Command, Doctor Vice-President," in various seductive tones.

Sharon rolled her eyes and headed the other direction, towards her private stateroom. She activated her wireless circuits and sent some quick commands to her stateroom's control terminal. Out of morbid curiosity she then logged onto the women's chat forum in the ship knowledgebase. It was rapidly filling with updates on where the Vice-President was going next and descriptions of first hand encounters with him. Thea had already started a "Frackable?" poll on Baltar and entries were running five to one for "Yes." Sharon entered her "No" vote, and logged off the wireless. "God," she said as she walked down the empty hall, "I don't know what Gaius Baltar has, but it's liable to be the death of us all."

Sharon finally arrived at her stateroom and locked the door behind her. She stripped off her clothing as she walked across her living area, letting the pieces fall carelessly on the spongy brown floor. As she settled into the warm waters of her private bath she wondered to herself what manner of terrible and unholy things she would have to do to her Chief to force him to confide all his secrets to her. With her eyes closed and an evil smile on her face she tried to decide what vital piece of information she should make her Chief reveal first: the recipe for his potent white lightning... or what the tastiest part of her exterior is.

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 Post subject: Re: Alternate Tin Soldier
PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 6:29 pm 
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Quote:
Sharon finally arrived at her stateroom and locked the door behind her. She stripped off her clothing as she walked across her living area, letting the pieces fall carelessly on the spongy brown floor. As she settled into the warm waters of her private bath she wondered to herself what manner of terrible and unholy things she would have to do to her Chief to force him to confide all his secrets to her. With her eyes closed and an evil smile on her face she tried to decide what vital piece of information she should make her Chief reveal first: the recipe for his potent white lightning... or what the tastiest part of her exterior is.


WANT THE MANGA VERSION! :bounce: :drool: :bounce:

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 Post subject: Re: Alternate Tin Soldier
PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 6:42 pm 
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Pierre wrote:
WANT THE MANGA VERSION! :bounce: :drool: :bounce:


How about just a sequel to the print version?

I'll write it as soon as NT2's STASN is over.

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 Post subject: Re: Alternate Tin Soldier
PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 7:36 pm 
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Ok, a sequel will do it.
and perhaps a tiny little comic page??? :oops: :oops: :oops:

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 Post subject: Re: Alternate Tin Soldier
PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 10:25 pm 
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So who is Baltar in this altenate universe, and why is he on the ship?


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 Post subject: Re: Alternate Tin Soldier
PostPosted: Sat Jan 09, 2010 4:21 pm 
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NT2 wrote:
So who is Baltar in this altenate universe, and why is he on the ship?



Well, the ATS universe is supposed ot be sillier (and naughtier) than the OTS one. It's just for fun. I'm sure ATS Baltar claimed it was a PR trip on his expense account, but we all know it was for.. er... recreation opportunities. Cylons may not vote but the groupies are so much more accomodating.

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