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 Post subject: Denial, by mamaboolj, Elias/Nicole, PG
PostPosted: Wed Apr 22, 2009 3:07 pm 
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Joined: Mon Apr 20, 2009 8:00 pm
Posts: 189
Location: neither here nor there
Title: Denial
Author: Mamaboolj
Fandom: Whistler
Characters: Elias Noth/Nicole Miller, Eric
Spoilers: 2x08 Crossroads
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~600
Disclaimer: Owned by CTV, not me. I'm just filling in the blanks. Please don't sue.
Beta: None. I'm too impatient right now. Feel free to point out mistakes, and I'll edit.
Summary: Nicole contemplates why Elias broke things off. Or, how the wing sculpture ends up in Elias's storage locker. FYI Eric is the gossipy concierge who told Nicole that the "artist guy" had dropped the sculpture for the auction in the middle of the lobby.

Nicole stared at the elegant metal and wood sculpture, the unfurled bird’s wing captured almost but not quite in the act of flight. “I’m not some wounded bird whose wing you can mend,” Elias had told her. His words stung, not only because he was right, but also because he was so very wrong.

Maybe she was looking for someone new to take care of. She had spent her entire adult life taking care of others – her mother, Carrie, Ryan. Hell, even her job revolved around taking care of other people. It’s what she knew, as natural as a reflex. She did want to mend Elias, to make him see that he didn’t have to hide himself away from the rest of the world, his own reflex that she suspected had roots deeper than having HIV or being a former junky.

But she wanted so much more than to take care of him. She drank in his talent, his creativity. She found inspiration not only in his work, but in the fact that he had faced his demons and won, something few other people in her life had had the strength to do. And of course, his beauty and wit, sensitivity and charm – even that he could be a royal pain in the ass – drew her to him. Elias attracted her like no man had before, certainly not Ryan, whom she had so recently considered marrying. She was ready to give herself completely to Elias, but she had scared him away.

The more she thought about it, the more she didn’t think this was entirely her fault. The truth is, Elias wasn’t brave enough to accept her love. He may have beaten his demons but he had not made peace with his past. He had only learned to hide from it, from the memories, from the fear of what might happen if he let himself be happy again. He pushed away anyone who threatened to break down the walls he’d built around himself, and she’d been going at them with a jackhammer. So Elias was running away to New York, to a city he would hate, for a job he would detest. Well, let him run, then. Let him continue to play the hermit, another anonymous inhabitant of that city of millions.

Nicole screwed her face at the sculpture, letting it bear the burden of her anger, hurt, and frustration. She didn’t need him. And she didn’t need to be reminded of him either. She turned her back on the sculpture and crossed the lobby, preparing herself for a day of dealing with the crises the guests, her co-workers, or her sister would bring her way. But, she had to take care of one thing first.

“Eric,” she asked the concierge on duty. “Can you call Mr. Noth’s PR guy and have him get that sculpture out of our lobby. I never liked the damn thing anyway.”

“Sure thing, Nicole,” Eric replied as eagerly as ever. But as Nicole walked away from the desk, she heard him mutter to the receptionist at his side, “Yeah right. Next she’ll be trying to convince us that she never liked that artist guy either.”

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